Skinny is the new healthy.

Or so they say now.

I've been reading a couple of blogs lately and it has hit me on how the want to be skinny seems to be taking over many teenage girls. The want to be skinny hasn't only hit the slightly overweight girls but girls who are already slim.

Anorexia's obviously taking over. For instance, I was reading a blog just a while ago and the girl was ranting on about how she's too fat and she must not eat. And just below that was a picture of her friend and herself. She obviously knew she was nothing more than a bag of bones. She had obvious collar and hip bones. What more was there to lose, I asked myself. It's unbelievable really. Another example would be my very own sister. She used to be a little plump which led to a starve for at least a month. The starving started fading away after slight weight loss but her eating habits have been pretty much disordered and she keeps looking at anorexic pictures. The definition of healthy and slim have been officially warped. Social comparisons indeed have their devastating effects.

However, people have realised that this has become an issue and are trying to rectify this social misconception. An example would be the Dove Campaign for beauty. They have used even plus sized models for the advertisements which not many other companies do. However their attempts seem to be futile because the social misconception has already taken a huge toll on the society. With celebrities like Victoria Beckham and Paris Hilton starving themselves to death (and advertising this), it's not doubt why the campaign has minimum effect on the society.

People will never be satisfied with themselves. It's just human nature. Like from a slide off our lecture notes, "self awareness can be unpleasent. We will be motivated to "escape the self" by engaging in destructive practices or spiritual practices.". How apt.

To forgive but never forget?

So anyway, i was thinking about forgiveness (not in the religious context) and was wondering if any of us are truly capable of forgiving. This picture and several conversations with my girls later, it got me thinking...do we ask for forgiveness from the people we've wronged to make them feel better, or to make ourselves feel better?

Although i know its a little of both, i think it leans more towards making oneself feel better. When you've been wronged, and the person who wronged you says "I'm sorry.", you don't forgive immediately. I don't think anyone is capable of that. Its more of a conscious effort to forget about it, or to not bring it up again, or to pretend it never happened? Denial?

I'm quite confused about the whole thing. When you say you're sorry, and the person you've wronged feels like crap, i think its more aimed at making the person forgive you, so that you can feel better about yourself rather than making the person feel better. One too many times have i heard, "I've already said I'm sorry. What else do you want me to do?". Like AS IF that five-lettered word is going to magically turn everything into rainbows and butterflies. Oh please, for crying out loud, You never bloody know how a person feels until you consider things from his point of view- until you climb into his skin and walk around in it..

Thats the thing...after the damage is done, asking for forgiveness is selfish. At least in my opinion. "I'm sorry" is different from "Please forgive me". "I'm sorry" expresses regret at what the person did. "Please forgive me" just SCREAMS "Please excuse my actions so that i can stop feeling guilty".

So maybe "I'm sorry" is o.k., but i don't think you should take it as a given that if the person you're apologising to says "o.k.", it means that they've forgiven you because it might be FAR from that.

However, does it really work in the long run? You know how sometimes "Sorry" just doesn't cut it. No matter how many times the person begs and pleads. Most of the time you just say "O.K." to put them out of their misery and to ease their guilt a little, but you still end up feeling like crap. The damage has already been done, and sometimes its REALLY a little hard to see how a "sorry" can reverse the misery of it all.

Before our minds start going way off tangent, just to clarify, I'm talking about big major issues like "I'm sorry you caught me in bed with her. Please forgive me!!!!" and not petty things like "I'm sorry i lost your pen/stepped on your toes".

So I'm wondering, how does one go about truly forgiving another person and going back to the way things were? I don't think its anywhere close to possible...because eventually somewhere down the line, its going to come to a point where you point the finger and go " you did xxx, you #%!$%!% ". Human beings are selfish creatures. Period. Yes, we do have our occasional Princess Di and Mother Theresa's but that's besides the point. We all think about ourselves before anyone else. The sun shines out of our own arses (pardon me) as far as we're concerned.

I'm kinda sceptical about this- the whole forgiveness thing. But i suppose there has to be some form of forgiving going around, despite the superficiality, and a conscious effort on the part of the forgiver to push away thoughts of the error, and to consciously not bring it up again. Even if it does help your present case.

Bottom line.. i think people forgive but they never forget. Which eventually boils down to not forgiving. You reckon?